Monday, October 29, 2012

ARCHcon 2012 (CosPlay)

I was supposed to "re-CosPlay" as Emily The Strange again, perfectly this time, with the fringe and all, but a friend of mine suddenly chatted me up the day before, asking me to dress up as the Lumpy Space Princess of Adventure Time because she's gonna be Princess Bubblegum and another friend who's comin' will be Marceline The Vampire Queen (I know this should've been me). I couldn't decline since I've already "dressed up as" Emily The Strange this month, and I kind of find it not so exciting or embarrassing to dress up as the same character again (with mostly the same cosplayers attending and all), even though that first try was an epic fail of a CosPlay.
And I KNOW, this Lumpy Space Princess isn't in my list. Well, I just thought that it could be a little fun to CosPlay and hang out with some of my old friends (one of which is an ex-Goth) from elementary, so yeah, I just gave it a try.

Funnily I didn't know who this Lumpy Space Princess was, since I haven't even tried watching this now-popular cartoon series called "Adventure Time". I googled this character right after my friend asked me to CosPlay her, and what I saw was:

I was like, DAFUQ! HOW AM I SUH-PPOSED TO COSPLAY THIS COTTON BALL OF A CREATURE TOMORROW? It looks like gay puke to me -_- Am I gonna be a mascot for tomorrow? NOOOO.

So I googled "Lumpy Space Princess cosplay" and found great, creative stuff.



Now that's better. xD

Problem is, I don't have a lavender wig or a laveder costume, nor do I have spare money for wig or costume rentals.. :/ Oh well, it's fine. I ended up looking like this instead, and it isn't that bad. :3

Left to right: Princess Bubblegum, Lumpy Space Princess, and Marceline The Vampire Queen (my clothes. hahaaha).

Our costumes AREN'T EXACTLY THE SAME as our character's outfit.

The FREE CANDY guy! xD

I didn't prepare my wig the day before because I thought it was still in a fine condition since I fixed it last month D:

My friend who always goes with me to CosPlays came along too! I introduced her to my two friends and they seem to get along pretty well. We're planning to have a group CosPlay as K-ON! next year. And as expected, Princess Bubblegum here wants me to be Mio. :p It's great since Mio Akiyama is in my list! ^w^

take that little girl in the middle, and that would be the corresponding characters each of us will cosplay :3


Sunday, October 28, 2012

Home Radio 106.7 3rd CosPlay

Sorry if I posted this sooooooooo effin late! The pictures were uploaded by my friend after around one and a half months.

SEPTEMBER 15, 2012

This was supposed to be an awesome pre-birthday celebration, but I guess it didn't turn out to be one, because 1) I only had one friend who came along; 2) my sister and I don't own a camera; 3) I invited my crush but he didn't come over; and 4) I was feeling feverish because of the onset of those measles! :((

But what's important is 1) I was able to CosPlay as Alice, which means another check mark in my CosPlay checklist; 2) I was able to attend that event; 3) my crush's look-alike instead was there and we played guitar;  and 4) We still had pictures for that event (taken by my friend's phone).

me and my sister

my sister, my friend, and me.

Yes, I know, I don't have a whole body picture of my whole outfit. :/ My friend was the one taking pictures, but sadly, she was told to go home early. That's why she was only able to take around 17 pictures that day.

me and my crush's look-alike! i first met this guy during the Japan Festival.
And we met again during that event! I approached him, tilted my head to one side, and stared. I wasn't sure if it was really him since his hairstyle changed. But then he suddenly said, "Yeah, we met before. Hi again!" GAAAAAAH ♥ x">

Despite all the sadness I felt that day, I still chose to see the bright side of everything. The next day was my birthday, so I knew that I shouldn't let the gloominess get the best of me. I can't just let bad luck bring me down because I firmly believe that I'm too strong to let it.

Stay positive, everyone! :3 ♥

Friday, October 26, 2012

Outfit Of The Day: "Rippy Tightsy" ♥

Actually, I just wore laced leggings and stockings beneath the tights. :3

I just love my very own DIYed tights!

They used to be my leotard's pair. It took me a lot of courage to use the scissors on them but I managed to get them good, though I cut on too much on my first tries. I'll post how I altered my leotard SOON. xD

Cool jacket + Long top w/ asymmetrical edges + Ripped tights + Studded sandals

I made this! :'3

A Fringe Clip-On!

My Emily The Strange CosPlay could've totally been perfect and well-spent for, if only a friend of mine didn't fail to send her fringe clip-on that day (I asked to borrow it days before). My own, real fringe already reaches my upper lip (yes, too long to be Emily) and I have already been trying my best to make it grow longer because I don't wanna have fringes anymore. I seem to have grown up from them since they look ugly when they start getting all wavy and stubborn.

So yeah, I was Emily without the famous fringes last Saturday. :/

Yesterday though, I had to go all the way to another city to my friend's house just so I could borrow it from her. xD

Now here it is. :3

I dunno where she bought it :|
There are clips at the back of the fringe so you just have to clip it on your hair just like that^.

I'm planning to buy one for my own and cut it the way most Goth girls love:

I want a fringe clip-on so I could just easily decide whether I wanna have a fringe or not for a hairstyle. I mean, if you do cut your OWN REAL hair, growing it would take months of impatience! I've been through this a hundread times already, so I'm totally gonna avoid getting stuck in that predicament in the days to come with a trusty fringe clip-on. ^w^

You can buy some online, dears! :3

Strict Parents Make Sneaky Kids

Warning: Lengthy post! Full of metaphors! :p


I haven't gotten out from this asylum of a house in a long while now, that's why I haven't been posting much because I haven't gone through much adventures this week. I regrettably cannot get released from this prison on my own will, because I'm sadly still being held back and owned like a pet that cannot wander out from its cage; living with dependence: a dependence I bear ill will of; a dependence only existing because of money I am not allowed to earn because I might break free from the bonds. I feel my neck and ankles currently being cuffed, and the cuffs are attached to large, long, heavy chains that have a padlock at the end. 


At times, though, my owners hand me the key if ever I have good enough reasons to be released: reasons that should make them happy, and I have learned -- through the long span of time of my imprisonment -- what seemingly makes them allow me to go without hesitations. Since then, I already made up heaps of alibis that should make them say yes at any cost; I have executed spotless plans and excuses to escape from this dreary tower and from unnecessary trouble, and luckily, almost all of them worked. Though because of my wit and stealthiness I have relished the freedom I've always dreamed of, I was only allowed to taste this fulfilled wish temporarily each day.

Well, albeit that's the case, I have learned many different things in my adventures to the outside world. I finally learned how to buy in stores, ride in tricycles or PUVs, how to avoid talking to strangers, and how not to abuse the addictive privileges that this deceitful, materialistic world offers. All my experiences were not in my owners' knowledge, and everything I have learned were kept secret. I have to pretend to be ignorant and cold as I go on with my chained life.


Years have passed and I still continued all my journeys to the outside world, all of which were strengthened by lies that my owners so stupidly believed and rightfully deserve. I met countless characters that led happy unchained lives though the same dependence bound them to their owners. Their owners were unbearably kind and joyful -- a sight and a fact too hard for me to keep from envying. I then grew accustomed to the unfairness which at first brought me three years of unstoppable tears. I became aware of all the incurable sicknesses of some people's minds and traits that unavoidably affects other people's lives and thinking.

The once beautiful outside world soon became a gloomy land of silent suffering as I trod the places I've never been before. However, I refused to stop my adventures, for in every experience of joy and sorrow, I LEARNED.

In some of my travels, I have also met and befriended people that are treated the way I am -- like pets: chained, controlled, manipulated, and submissive to each of their owner's orders. I sometimes only hear stories of their unfortunate lives from other people. In some cases, they are luckier, yet in some stories I am. The less lucky ones submit themselves and had never tried going out to the world to learn because LYING -- they say -- is something they cannot afford to do. Nevertheless, I say I am less lucky when it comes to the atmosphere of my relationship with my owners, for mine is awful, awkward, therefore hopeless. What usually strikes me with fear when I listen to such stories is the tragic, life-changing mistakes that these chained individuals do due to ignorance. Some take their own lives, run away, have vices get the best of them, or fall in the clutches of teenage pregnancy.


This week, dearest readers, I ran out of lies. It already feels like a century of being locked up. So yesterday, I went out of my own will while my owners were away! It has truly been quite a long time since I visited you, O outside world, and I missed your lovely food! I hurriedly unchained myself, escaped the unlovable tower, and walked down the street with ripped tights. I had to visit a friend who lives in a far away place I've never gone to, in order to borrow something.

A typhoon brought incessant rains and soft, unpleasant thunder, but my desire to escape once again was too strong to be stopped. That was my first time travelling ALONE, to a place I did not know where, so I was anxious and excited at the same time.

When I finally got out from the village, I was amazed by everything I have not long seen until then: amazed by the beautiful women walking randomly along the roads, the stores selling secondhand objects, a man wearing a shirt that said "I ONLY DATE HOT MODELS", the passengers I rode with in the PUV, the sites under construction, the fares being passed from a hand to another, the children that annoyed their mothers, and many more. O dreary me, I haven't seen a world teeming with life in a long while! It felt like the first secret adventure all over again: I felt small, shy, and scared, like an ignorant eleven-year-old having a stroll with her friends, without her parents' consent.

I read the directions my friend gave me again, and afterwards realized that I was still too far from my desired destination. I disembarked from the PUV, and was accompanied by ladies in their 40s whom I asked for further detailed directions. They gladly answered and helped, and pointed to what I should ride next. I gratefully followed, but cannot seem to find the right tricycle. I was surprised when some old, kind strangers that helped me find my way. They were strangers, yet they helped a young lost fellow find her way. My owners always taught me that strangers are people who would sell or murder me. But now, I guess, I proved their idea wrong. Not all strangers are not at all diabolical as they told me..
So I finally rode my way to the other city and was to stop by a village across a school.

The sky was dark though the afternoon was young, the roads were dotted with muddy puddles, and the drizzle went on. I was alone and ignorant, and I did not know where I was now wandering around. Around half an hour passed and I still hadn't found "2nd street". I already stopped by a store and asked vendors, approached a passerby, and asked a driver for directions. I barely had enough fare left for me to go back home. But I refused to be afraid. I refused to regret. My God is kind and is always with me. The ignorance and fear my owners have planted in me will soon cease, if I choose to be brave enough.

Hence, I made it.

It was a humble home and my lonely friend prepared peanut butter and jelly for me as I played their piano. There, in that place, I heard her story --  a story which was a bit the same as mine: a chained, submissive life; however her owners were not heartless so she was cheerful despite the unreasonable laws.

Her introductory statement of her feelings caught me:

"I am so unlucky. Here I am, a girl born with an adventurous spirit, kept and locked up here by my family of homebodies."

Her mother had suspiciously stared at me and greeted me with a careful and observant smile before I was admitted in, after I was introduced.

I do understand the dangers and risks that might capture our lives in a bottle of trouble, but I WILL NEVER understand the idiotic intentions of locking up an adventurous soul that will unknowingly get diabolically cursed by IGNORANCE! Surely there are far more creative ways than that!

My visit to her house was not long for a dusky dimness was already painting the already-dark sky, thus I had to leave for home. As I prepared my things, my friend suddenly came to me rejoicing, for because of my visit, she says, she can finally go out of the four corners of her cage even for just a little while. Her owner allowed her to accompany me to a street where I could hitch a PUV for me to ride home.

We walked the streets filled with what seemed to be uneducated strangers, mostly men. We were constantly being called, but we ignored them by indulging ourselves in conversation. A few hundred meters away, she showed me a beach of free entrance as she accompanied me, and we leisurely walked a round in the balcony that looked over the dirty sea. The typhoon's breeze became moderately violent, but we both dismissed this type of warning as a beautiful wind we missed. The gloomy shades that the sky brought was too overwhelming for us to be scared, and our conversation and mutual emotions were too absorbing.

No sooner, she bid goodbye as I got up a PUV, inside of which were whom I guess as the driver's old mother, his wife, and his son. I could not help but listen to them as they conversed. Their sharp, hurtful words toward each other blended well with the characters I observed were surrounding the vehicle; so perverse, fearful, and unkind.

Slowly as the vehicle moved, I heard a choir of angelic voices from a school that me and my friend had passed by from our stroll just a little while ago: a school attended by students from penniless families. My friend told me of their unfortunate lives that was a tad bit too similar to ours: they were kept in by nuns and disciplined hurtfully for the "good" of their future personalities and lives.

Why dear God? Why?

As I watched out the window of the PUV, I saw the sadness and the hideousness lurking in the darkness of the dim streets: poverty, thoughtlessness, frustration, and deprivation scattered all over the world of adventures, never disappearing. I became afraid. These exactly existed from under the roof I live in, not as people and scenes, but as chains and hearts...

... of the owners that continue to bind me, for as long as I don't have my own bunch of keys to freedom.


Friday, October 19, 2012

Poem Post: "Tears From Today"

Hello again me lovelies~!

I just thought that it would be a great idea to post another poem (I just wrote moments ago) that contains the loneliness I'm actually feeling for today's date -- October 19.

Being Goth doesn't mean you're not allowed to feel bad, sad, or sorry for yourself. We're still humans, we have feelings, so it is but human to undergo moments of grief and loss sometime while we're living.

I've mentioned of a "crush" more than once in some of my posts. Well, in case if you're wondering, he's not JUST a "crush", because he's more than that. We've dated in the past and had feelings for each other for more than 3 years, but it came to a stop because of certain things... And by the way, he's my crush ever since I was 9, and yeah, UNTIL NOW! HAHAHA crazy, I know :p

And today is.. today is..! Today is uhh, a day when I sound so EMO and ew, I hate it! I sound so disgusting. Hahaha xD Nah, it's just that, today's date actually -- never mind. Read it on the poem. :p

Tears From Today


A sin I was unaware of,
committed one bittersweet night:
a night of silence and strangeness,
a night so different
a night so fateful.

Little did I know
that as the starless nightsky
and the careless cold night wind
stared and waited breathlessly,
a boy will be leaving me
without my heart's consent.

A slip of the tongue,
a joke supposedly funny
cataclysmically drew the curtains --
that for years had been open
-- to a dramatic, quiet close.

A week of soundless broken lines,
one week of false excuses,
a week of undeterred hopes
but a dispirited Monday
so sudden and questionable,
a Monday I still so loathe arrived.

A picture so sadistic
deprived me of happiness
within eight long weeks;
this will feed me with emptiness
until the instant I shall perish.

O Woe!

So evil, so unforgiving
a year of avoidance and deviance
scraping a heart innocently enduring.

Gentlemen aren't nice
for today marks the day
of intense, undrugged euphoria
for a common damsel
so lucky, so clueless,
a complete stranger
who without knowledge
drained my blessings,
caused a brutal tragedy,
and began episodes of
unstoppable downpours of tears
while the red moon rose
and an uncommon melody
reminded my soul
of a love she had long ended,
though she never intended.

Date written: October 19

Please credit me, by the way, if you wanna copy all or a part of the poem. Thanks :3

Poem Post: "The Ugly Doll's Revenge"

I don't have anything to post as of the moment, so I'm thinking of posting some of my poems every now and then every time I get stuck with this same predicament again.

I wrote this when I was 15.

I got bullied in the classroom that time, and as usual, I didn't fight back. I was on my seat when a bully suddenly started ranting at me. My classmates who were near me looked at the commotion, but didn't do anything to stop her. I just kept myself from looking at her, gripped my pen, and looked at my shoes as she kept talking shit. When she was done, I glanced at her devilish face and caught her dramatically rolling her eyes at me with ire. An Emilie Autumn song was playing in my head that time, so I was thinking of stripes, dolls, tragedies, and graveyards. I thought of pouring my emotions -- of anger, frustration, sadness, embarrassment, and confusion -- in a poem, and add all my Emilie Autumn thoughts to it. So this was the result of the mash up. :D



As a lifeless, worthless, ugly toy
With a bundle of broken nerves
I truly seem to release no joy;
My owner offers the neglect I deserve.

The other dolls the owner keeps
Are eternally with me on our shelf;
But it is I, who always weeps
For an unexplainable pity on a poor self.

Suffering is such a miserable feeling,
Especially when one doesn’t know why it’s creeping
When one lives with the most undesirable
Overflowing vanity of such “people”.

I merely do not understand why
These dolls I live with on me are sly;
I could not help but grit my brittle teeth
For these villainous dolls with worthless wit!

Like them, indeed I am clever,
Even better than some of the others;
But is it just because I am different,
I know not of anything concurrent?

Such good, prominent mouths used badly,
Used against toys: innocent or ugly;
The owner knows not of their facades,
They are praised, while I, left very sad.

As I reach my despicable destiny,
To be destroyed with neglect,
I shall receive a vengeful soul,
To plague all of them with ugly roles.

O, unending painful loneliness!
Why hath thou bite me without forgiveness?
Because of you, they shall behold
The evil me, all of them cannot hold!

Please credit me, by the way, if you wanna copy all or a part of the poem. Thanks. :3

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Outfit Of The Day: "Girly Goth"

Picture quality sucks because I don't have a great, state-of-the-art camera. :(
Hope everyone understands! :3

I went to school today to get a priority number for the enrollment. This is what I wore to school. ^w^

Dress + Victorian cardigan + Leggings + Doll shoes + Headband

I'm lovin' these shoes. I bought them 7 months ago, but I don't use this pair much. It's not so eye-catching, but I say it's pretty perfect for casual Goth outfits. :3 ♥

Monday, October 15, 2012

Music Restriction Among Goths?


Hi, this seems to be my first post about music, and this category seems to be the most debatable topic amongst us in the subculture.

Uhh, you guys ever observed how some Goths who feel they're "elite" just tell the others off easily, saying that they're poseurs or wannabe's because they listen to the "wrong" music? 

Take the Gothic Metal genre for example. The deathrockers among us would roll their eyes upon this and give off a sarcastic remark or two. The Gothic metal enthusiasts would then try listening to Gothic rock, but couldn't seem to get it though how they try.
On the other hand, those who listen to the post-punk genre would claim that they listen to the "right" music and that this is what everyone should be listening to.
Some deathrockers would also gag at darkwave.

Oh people, what's wrong? DX

Goth Problem #7 from the Gothic Culture page in Facebook

YES, I DO respect the typical Goth rocker's opinion. The bands Bauhaus and Joy Division (etc etc) definitely started it all, thus their musical genre could possibly be the "right" genres we should listen to since because of their music, the subculture was born. I, for one, am an avid listener of gothic rock. In fact, it's the MAIN GENRE LISTEN to. But I admit, I had listened to a lot of Gothic metal before, and still listen to some even until now. Apart from that, I also listen to darkwave, dark cabaret, deathrock, symphonic and progressive metal, industrial, Celtic, and ethereal wave; I even listen to pop punk, classical music, and hardcore, and choose hip-hop when I dance (dude, I love dancing hip-hop! *A*)! But who cares? Didn't we always say that EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT?

I say it's not bad to listen to bands that aren't classified as Goth even if you are Goth, JUST AS LONG AS THEY AREN'T THE MAIN BANDS YOU LISTEN TO. If you like New Found Glory, Panic! At The Disco, or Epica, who's stopping you? Wouldn't it be like pretending or faking it if you force yourself to listen to bands that aren't to your liking? Isn't being Goth about being yourself?

The music genres that the subculture covers now are starting to become very diverse. It would be but CLOSE-MINDED to stop the subculture from growing.

Remember, Gothlings, THERE ARE NO RULES, mainly because this is only a subculture, not some organization or whatnot.

It is truly sad seeing Goths telling Goths off. :<

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P.S. : What would really be wrong is calling extremely non-Goth bands as Goth. I mean, puh-lease, check the genres of that particular band or artist and see if they're even Goth at all. :| It would be quite acceptable if a Gothic metal fan calls Nightwish as Goth because it's "GOTHIC" metal in the first place. 

But Marilyn Manson?

Well, if you like listening to his music, then fine, go on, JUST DON'T CALL HIM GOTH. :3 He's not. Nor is his music. *facepalm* But yes, I admit, his fashion truly is captivating. ^w^

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Currently listening to Coin Operated Boy by The Dresden Dolls. ♥

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Additional Cosplayable Characters #1


I just added these characters to my list.
(DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these pictures.)

STOCKING from Panty, Stocking and Garterbelt





BLAIR from Soul Eater



Remember to check out the complete list though.
Have a batty day, you guys! :*
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