Wednesday, December 12, 2012

My Friends Are NON-Goths

Dedicated to my friends, The Ginabots.

What is a ginabot?

Ginabot is basically the Visayan version of the chicharon bulaklak. This dish is made from pig intestines, which is salted, dried and then deep-fried so that it becomes the crispy flower-shaped finger food.

Do me a favor and read this blog's name again.

Many of my readers have been asking me why it has to be "Isolated Goth Girl" when I'm often seen with too many friends everyday wherever I go. Hmmmm. Since not many of them here know much about the subculture I'm classified in, I guess they know not about what being an isolated Goth means. And when I say they don't know, well, they TOTALLY don't know. NOT even how it feels.

Knowing that I'm the only one who listens to Goth music, watches dark humor or black and white films, reads Gothic novels, and dresses this way, honestly, makes me feel kind of lonely and out of place at times. Choiceless as I am, I decided NOT to remain underground thus I went out to the world to meet everyone up there.

When I was about to get into college, I always believed I'd meet someone of the same interests, be his/her best friend, and live in an alternate world of our own, since this school is big -- it's a university -- and my specialization is Literature (many Goths love reading and writing). So yeah, I was actually expecting and hoping to meet a Goth in college.

But I guess not.

The school still turned out to be the same old breeding ground for mainstream bugs and insects. But luckily I was able to carry on because it ain't too bad as I thought. And instead of hanging out anywhere with one Goth best friend as I had imagined, I ended up with a big bunch of comical angels.

If you'll try observing (if you do notice me a lot, that is), you will see me with this big, loud group of retards that's usually seen with a big grin on their faces. If you try hanging out with them for once, you can never choke down a laugh or two, because it seems as if they have this power to turn anything into the silliest, funniest thing ever.

When I arrive in school, I always look forward to seeing them in order to dispel the lachrymal cloud of pain I carry from home; and as soon as I find them, an instant glow on my face is what I greet them with -- looking as if I wasn't sad when I went to bed the night before. Everything unpleasant seems to get eternally replaced by the day's conversations and cheerful togetherness when I'm with them.

They don't joke about my preferences and interests; in fact, they even report to me when they find a dress that reminds them of me. They also planned out a Gothic birthday surprise for me, and it could have been made possible if not for those measles. There might be conflicts in interests, religion, attitudes, philosphies, and views, but totally, these all don't matter even a bit to them.

I've already gone with them to another island, drank with them on a birthday, went home late for them, and even had a sleepover with them. To some of you, all these might sound so usual and ordinary, but to me, it's something big, bad, and illegal; considering how well-kept and locked of a princess I am at home. It's also kind of unusual since most kids my age tend to avoid me for my strangeness, and it has only been around 5 months since I started hanging out with them.

Ah, I've never felt so loved all my life.

The first time they saw me though -- since I joined their group a bit late -- they normally thought I was weird and freaky. They also talked about me at times. But when they told me now about this, they emphasized their realization that I proved them all wrong: I'm still a normal kid like everybody else, only that I have uncommon interests; and that I'm nice and good and fun, even how easily me and my likes stand out.

I have become quite accustomed to being the only obvious Goth girl hanging out with non-Goths in school. I've realized that it ain't a problem at all, and it also has its advantages. Students who don't know me would ask my friends about why I'm like this or that, and my friends would tell them that there isn't anything wrong about showing who you are. Though at times it might feel awkward singing songs that only I know, keeping quiet when they discuss mainstream music or shows, and buying things that look beautiful to my eyes, they still never question me and they don't want me to feel uncomfortable about doing what I love.

Because of them, I feel less isolated. Because of them I believe I'm special and one of a kind.
I was able to draw them during the sembreak because I missed them so bad. haha. This isn't ALL of us though since the group is getting even bigger.

Thanks, guys.
Let's stick together though I'm the only Literature major among us, okay?

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