It's nice seeing non-Goths dating Goths. I can't say anything more. Sometimes though, the differences in interests, subcultures, or lifestyles can lead to awkward or terrible situations. So to my non-Goth readers, here are some advice from a Goth who has been pissed off once or twice during dates.
DO's and DON'Ts
ONE - DO try researching the subculture yourself.
I know it sometimes can feel good when one is asked to define or describe what one loves, but sometimes it can be really annoying.
Guy: Hmmmm, you like being Gothic, huh?
Me: Uhh.. Yes?
Guy: So what really is Goth?
Me: (Rolls eyes, fakes a smile, thinks of shortest answer) Punks that like uhh.. horror. (hopes he gets it)
Guy: Oh, so that explains why you wear black a lot.
Me: Uhh.. Yes?
Guy: Isn't that like, Emo?
Me: *frowns* (In head: Can I kill you now?)
TWO - DON'T forget that the person you're dating is Goth.
On a date with a model.
Me: -Text message-
Uhh, dude, I'm wearing black like usual. I look as weird as I am everyday.
Guy: -Text message-
It's fine <3
*Meets each other*
Guy: Hey. *smiles*
Guy: (utterly shocked) Oh my -- what is THAT you're wearing?! Why're you in that -- oh my God.
Me: (In head: Can I go home now?)
I mean, I only wore a casual black dress, a black cardigan, black tights, and black ballet flats.
THREE - If you're giving them presents, DO give them what they like.
I know this is pretty obvious.. Cross pendants, band shirts, band CDs, black roses, chokers, Gothic novels.. You gotta know.
FOUR - If you want him/her to meet your parents, DO PREPARE for it.
Let's face it. Most non-Goths normally find Goths weird, scary, or evil. So flaunt his/her assets to your parents first and ask your darkling if it's okay to tone down the look a bit on the day. Better safe than sorry.
FIVE - DO Listen to some of our music.
Maybe you'll like it! And we appreciate it a lot if you do. ♥
SIX - DON'T expect them to wear black all the time.
Like if we're in our t-shirts and sweatpants at home. Or we're told to wear white because it's Christmas. I know most of you will say, "You look better when you dress uhh.. normal." OUCH.
SEVEN - Avoid saying "Why not dress up like most people?"
In a department store.
Guy: Why not try those styles most girls wear nowadays?
Me: . . .
Guy: Like.. *points to a mannequin* THAT! See that mannequin? With all the sexy hair, the feminine outfit--
Me: Then DATE THAT MANNEQUIN.
EIGHT - Avoid saying "Why not be normal?"
So you mean we're ABNORMAL? Of course not. Sighs. Then again we're just normal people with different interests.
NINE - Avoid saying "But I thought Goths were..."
Do not generalize Goths. Although the people in the subculture have interests that fall under the same category, each of them still has different views, personalities, characteristics, and attitudes.
TEN - Avoid saying "Everyone seems to be looking at you.. Don't you find it awkward?"
|Amy Asphodel and boyfriend again! I love this pair. [source]|
Oh well! Hope this helped. Haha. You guys got your dates yet? :p