Wednesday, February 13, 2013

So You Have A Non-Goth Crush?

So you think you're too weird to get a date from that cutie you've been eying on since then, and it might feel awkward when you're all Goth'd up and head-turning if ever you DO get a chance to date him/her (and you think if it's even possible in the first place)?

Well, actually it isn't really impossible at all, and it isn't even shocking when it does happen. I have read and seen a lot of real-life Goth and non-Goth lovers and couples all over the internet, and I've even experienced all this mushy stuff myself since I've never met a Goth guy yet (that explains it xD)

So I guess this is gonna be for those who haven't been into this kind of thing before because they could either be too scared or hesitant to even try.

BEFORE I DO BEGIN though, let me tell you one thing:
If you're already friends with your crush, everything's gonna be easier, 'cause if not, the whole introduction thing and all the embarrassing teasing your friends are gonna do to you will really feel awkward. You gotta go through a lot if you aren't friends yet. But anyhoo, I'll still try to help you darklings out eitherway. ^w^

1) I got a feeling these all won't work ALL THE TIME.
2) This is just based from experience, an attempt to help *bites black-polished nails *
3) If you're a shy and quiet type of person, it's gonna be difficult for you. Q.O

The two first steps to do

STEP ONE - Doll up. Tone down shock factor a bit.
Remember, a non-Goth doesn't really get what Goth is about. You wouldn't want to scare them away, would you? So look better to catch his/her attention. Try to look through a non-Goth's eyes and decide which part in your appearance or outfit you should tweak. Don't change your entire self, just look better.

STEP TWO - Show them an awesome Goth.
Like I said, you gotta look good, but not just in appearance. Show them what you're good at! Get in the dean's list, or present onstage when you get the chance! This will surely make them notice you, or better yet, ADMIRE you.

If you're already friends..

STEP THREE - Taaaaalk and act naturally.
NO -- never let that person know that you have feelings for him/her yet. DON'T give them bashful hints. DON'T act shy around them, 'cause if you do, you might freak them out. Talk just like the way you talk with your friends, and DON'T say anything weird or stupid like, "Don't worry, I'm always here for you." YET. When a guy tells me that during the first few hours we met, I'd even grimace, roll my eyes, and get bored.

STEP FOUR - Raise your relationship bar up slowly.
Be the kind of friends wherein you get to exchange Hi5s whenever you meet each other in the hallway, tease or joke with each other whenever you talk, keep secrets and laugh about each other's weirdness, and spend time with each other's friends when you're both free. So you're asking how? TALK! Find great excuses that could spark a conversation like
  • "Hey did you get that whole sine-cosine thingy this morning?"
  • "Would you mind telling me the chords of this song?"
  • "Hey, do you know where room 346 is?"
  • "Can I borrow a pen?"
  • "Yo! It's you again! What's up?"
Be as creative and pleasant as possible. At night, send them text messages if you got their number. Keep doing all the friendly stuff until you both become really close. By the way, don't overdo it or else they're gonna smell something fishy.

STEP FIVE - Try making them curious when you're sad or depressed.
When a big, tear-jerking problem hits you, make them ask you what's wrong. Stare into space, or give them a weak smile. Since they're used to you being all friendly and fun, they're gonna go like, "Yo, what's up? You're suddenly all quiet." When you both get through a problem together, it's gonna be a better and closer friendship the next day.

STEP SIX - A little more than month later, give them the hints.
When you're together, SMILE. A LOT. Nothing's more surprising to a non-Goth's eyes than a cheerful Goth. Be concerned with what they're doing and show them you're worried when something's wrong. So why a little more than a month later? Because it's better when you don't take things too fast when it comes to relationships.

STEP 7A - For guys: Ask her out.
Go on, idiot!
STEP 7B - For girls: Wait.
Don't be the one to ask him or else you'll seem desperate. I don't know about the rest of you guys, but this is what I'm used to. Cultural norms, I guess.

If you aren't friends yet..

STEP THREE - Eye contact technique!
Usually works! But not ALL the time (The adverbs usually and always are different). If you give them eye contacts, there are 4 possibilities.
  • They look away.
    - Either they're too shy, or they're not even interested.
  • They hold on the gaze for a split second, then look away.
    - Most probably just shy.
  • They stare back.
    - Could be because they're interested in you, or you're cute, or there's just something on your face.
  • They stare back PLUS they smile subtly.
    - RARELY happens, but this is a good sign! ^w^♥

STEP FOUR - Do the stalking in social networking sites.
Ahhhh, Facebook. Where would I be without it? Yeah, ADD them. If they accept your friend request, try to see if they post stuff that are to your liking too and comment on the post. (e.g. a song from a band you also like. Comment: "You like [band name] too? Cool! Have you tried listening to [song title]? It's my favorite [band name] song!") If they ignore your friend request, go back to step 3. xD

STEP FIVE - Become their friend through FB.
No, not just a Facebook friend, but A FRIEND. Chat with them. Comment on their posts or photos. This step could sometimes determine if you really wanna give them a go. Being their friend makes you know them more: if you both got a lot of stuff in common, and if you guys make a good pair. Ask for their number once you guys get kinda close (you could also always make up an alibi for asking) or wait for them to do so.

STEP SIX - Say "hi" personally!
Do it! Or instead of saying "Hi", you could also smile! It gives them the impression that you're a nice and approachable person. If you greet them, they'll find it less awkward to communicate more with you. Don't wait for them to do the first move. If you get the chance, don't lose it!

STEP SEVEN - Keep this up until you both become good friends.
Now that you've said hi, smiled, chatted, and talked to them even for just a lil while, the awkwardness and shyness will disappear. Although it's gonna feel really giddy and thrilling being with them, befriending them will again, make you know them better and will determine if your feelings were real or just plain attraction. Also, by now, if they haven't asked for your number, they soon will.

Amy Asphodel and her boyfriend! [source]

Hope I helped! xD Tell me if I did! ^w^


  1. Thanks for the advice, Minxie! :D
    I'm stuck in this awkward situation with a dear friend of mine.
    I don't expect anything to happen, but that'd be great if it did!

    1. Hahaha! Anytime darkling.
      Hope my advices will work. Just be confident! :'> ♥


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