Poem Post: "Blissful Suffering"

I haven't posted much lately.

Well, all you guys need to know is that 1) I've been reading a wide range of literature -- mostly Gothic ones -- and the biographies of the authors of each literary work I read (this is mostly because I'm a Literature major, and my professors are great literary geeks like me which is great); 2) I haven't been going out much, since I ran out of brilliant alibis to creatively disguise all my gallivanting; 3) mom took away the old, unused camera, and my OOTD photographer which is my sister had been admitted to the hospital because of an ovarian cyst O.o (good heavens, she's well) that's why I haven't been able to post OOTDs; 4) my family indeed is a great hindrance :/ ; and 5) I haven't had anything new and interesting to show or write about...

... that's why I'm gonna post another one of my poems here to break the silence of this blog. :D

Okay so, this poem was written when I had problems with my "Traumatic Desires" friends, with my family, about being bullied, and when I had absolutely no one to run to but a pen and a paper. I wrote this 3 years ago, though, so yeah, I was still new to the whole puberty thingy and maybe -- just maybe -- I didn't get what everything was about back then. All that "the-whole-world-is-against-me feeling" was entirely overwhelming indeed. Now that I look back, I seem to see my past self as a masochistic individual: I loved pain; I chose pain; and I wanted to receive pain; all because pain was my only companion those days.

Of course, I didn't want it all at first, but soon, and gradually, it was all that I knew, hence it became a great part of me; to the extent that I made it a friend -- a friend that never leaves; a friend that ironically gives me gifts each day. To think that I already attempted suicide when I was 10, and each day seemed a burden, reasonably made me resort to all these serious, stupid, childish thoughts those days.

Oh well! I've gotten over all that anyway! I'm a happy kid right now, and I try to be easy-going and happy-go-lucky every now and then; I tend to stop taking things seriously and go with the flow. However, I refuse to forget all the beautiful things I produced from my past sufferings, and yes, I'm willing to share these to everyone! ^w^

Blissful Suffering

MINXIE

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YES, YES, it came to a point when I started hearing voices and
feeling imaginary touches -- all because of my loneliness and hopelessness.

A cold eventide zephyr seeps
Like a swerving soul writhes past
Under the blackest night sky
This soothing eerie agony is sure to last.

I grimly write with silent screams
For I cannot hide this chaos no more;
Feeding this leechy creature is useless.
I am being consumed into the void,
Smothering sharp claws of hatred pierce me
Though this state is unexplainably blissful
My dark heart is still crunched by 
the nothingness of the weak.

Why am I taken to this pit?
Condemned of nothing I committed?
My soul’s death awaits;
I am devoured, glum, and clouded

I extremely deny of deserving all this dolor,
But I somehow wished of such sadism;
Thus my veins carry of stagnant blood:
Confused to boil or to give in.
Is this my end, Sir? 
or shall I choose to carry on?

Please credit me, by the way, if you wanna copy all or a part of the poem. Thanks. :3

A Post For The Birthday Boy, Bram Stoker

Google's doodle for Bram Stoker's birthday! :D

This day from 164 years ago, a legendary novelist was brought to this world: an intelligent, respectable, and fulfilled man of his time, Abraham "Bram" Stoker gave us Count Dracula, the all-time archetypal vampire.

Aside from Dracula though, he had also written other numerous Gothic and romantic fiction novels such as The Snake's Pass, The Lair of The White Worm, The Primrose Path, Miss Betty, Lady Athlyne, and a whole lot more.

Abraham Stoker was born on November 8, 1847 in Clontarf, Dublin. As a child, Bram had been bedridden until he was seven, but this experience only somehow contributed much to his future successful self, and he wrote, "I was naturally thoughtful, and the leisure of long illness gave opportunity for many thoughts which were fruitful according to their kind in later years."

Unlike some writers who appear secluded and passive, Stoker was a busy and active man. He was named University Athlete at Trinity College in Dublin, and even graduated with honors in Math.

He became interested in the theater while still a student. Soon, he became a theater critic, and later on, friends with Henry Irving, the famous actor he became personal assistant and acting manager of. Aside from being a great writer and the business manager of the Lyceum Theater after how many years, he was also an artist, and he founded the Dublin Sketching Club!

His friendship with Henry was very important to him; he travelled the world as he goes with him in tours. Because of this, Stoker met Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, William McKinley, and Theodore Roosevelt.

Stoker died of stroke (notice how his cause of death has the same letters with his family name xD) when he was 64 and was cremated. His ashes are currently placed in a display urn at Golders Green Crematorium.

Dracula still remains as the best vampire novel 'til now, in my opinion, since it portrays the traditional nature of vampires: horrifying and deadly; owning an existence that is psychologically disturbing to humans, for I believe vampires are NOT cute and admirable; they DO NOT sparkle in the sun for they burn when they bask in it; and they are nocturnal.

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TRIVIA!

+ In some ways, Count Dracula might have been based from Vlad III Dracula, someone who really lived at around the 15th century, and was said to have killed 40, 000 to 100, 000 European civilians (anyone he considered "useless to humanity") by impaling them on a sharp pole. This guy fought against the Ottoman Turks, and scarily, Stoker, in a way, mentions in the novel that his Count Dracula was the guy who fought against Turks.

+ Dracula's name should've been "Count Wampyr".

+ Dracula has WHITE hair.

+ The novel has had several adaptations, one of which was Nosferatu (1922), a film directed by the German director F.W. Murnau, without permission from Stoker's widow. Hence, the filmmakers attempted to avoid copyright problems by altering many of the details, including the changing of the name of the villain to "Count Orlok".

+ Dracula ISN'T the FIRST vampire novel ^,..,^ (There had already been "The Vampyre", published in 1819.) It is, though, THE MOST FAMOUS vampire CLASSIC.

+ Dracula's real title wasn't Count. It was Prince. O.o

+ Yes, Dracula can turn into a bat! But not just a bat, he can also turn into a werewolf, a wolf, mist, fog, or dust.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~* ~

GREAT SITES TO VISIT:

Bram Stoker

Bram Stoker Festival

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HELPFUL SOURCES:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bram_Stoker

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dracula

http://www.arcamax.com/parents/halloween/quiz-1258?quizgo=1&x=64&y=18

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vlad_III_Dracula

http://www.funtrivia.com/en/subtopics/Dracula-117671.html

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100314130850AAAbNHW

Fairfarren October! :(

Today may already be the second day of November, but it matters not, really. What's important is I'll be able to bid October farewell -- considering that it was an awesome one -- and recall everything that I've done during that beautiful month.

Previously, I have already come up with plans for that span of four weeks, and it does seem now that I've done pretty well by the end of October:

ONE - 19 blog posts for October! (YAY! ^w^)

TWO - Hair Rebonded ;)

THREE - I found a job as a ghostwriter! :3

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A ghostwriter is a person employed to write material
for another person, who is the named author.

FOUR - CosPlayed for ARCHcon (as always, didn't compete)

FIVE - A great Halloween ♥

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Who says THOSE are just what I've accomplished and gone through that month? :D This list goes on:

SIX - Enrolled for the 2nd Semester 
(ahead of anyone in the same enrollment schedule as mine! xD)

my beloved school :'3

SEVEN - I have two new check marks in my CosPlay list.

EIGHT - I've travelled to other cities on my own! xD

Talisay City

Mactan

NINE - I hung out with friends I've never seen in ages.

TEN - I watched a lot of dark and horror films ♥

There was only ONE thing I wasn't able to do though, and that is to hang out with my high school best friends, "Traumatic Desires", for our 3rd friendship anniversary celebration. :/ Worse thing is, their reasons were terribly disappointing.. Oh well, there are a lot of things to be happy about anyway, so.. why dwell on that? :3

More things I love about October!

ELEVEN - The African-American accent

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I learned how to speak their accent! It's so awesome :'D

TWELVE - Dark Cabaret music

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^Circus Contraption
I started listening to dark cabaret bands.
Strangely, this genre feels so nostalgic, I don't know why o.O

THIRTEEN - More blog inspirations

Sincerely, Boots

F Yeah Lolita

Parfait Doll

Goth Confessions

FOURTEEN - Paper (or ribbon) roses: learned!

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FIFTEEN - My extravagant Goth clothes and costumes: now available for RENT

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I don't know how true this is, but, since I'm a Virgo, I love TO-DO LISTS and WHAT-I-DID LISTS! :3 I find myself more productive and self-fulfilled if I list down what I should do, and what I have done. ♥

The month is done, the days have gone. See ya next year, October dear!

Fairfarren. :'(

Trick Or Treat! 2012

Warning: Picture heavy! xD

Happy Halloween everyoooooone~! ♥

I know this is one day late..

OCTOBER 31, 2012

I had prepared well for yesterday but things weren't really as perfect as planned because 1) my "Traumatic Desires" friends were my supposed companions that day but they couldn't go out for certain reasons; 2) I brought the wrong shoes; 3) my anime character's hair swirls at the sides weren't so successful; and 4) I was late.

I was supposed to do the usual trick or treating yesterday, asking for candies and all, but I figured the mall only allowed registered 4-12 year old's to join, so I just spent the whole afternoon leisurely strolling around the mall with a cosplayer friend as we were constantly being chased by parents and their cameras. I also had asked my fifth-degree guy cousin (we're pretty close pals, yeah) to tag along because he's a great photographer (ay'g ka feeler, yot xD).

Me as Blair from Soul Eater. Another check mark in the list.

Me and a 13-year-old CosPlayer I met in the comfort room during  the Japan Festival xD

i like this pic! :3

Here's our photographer for that day: xD My cousin!
We used to hang out or go out a lot, but when we learned we were cousins, things started to get weird and awkward.. Oh well! We became closer, anyway, which is great xD HAHAHA
(i say what i wanna say here, cuz'n :p this is my blog after all xD)

Strolling, walking, posing, smiling... =w=

HAHAHA cute one! xD

look at all these pumpkins! ♥

LUNCHHH :3

The IRON MAN guy! xD

I HAD A GREAT DAY YESTERDAY! TOTALLY!

Although the afternoon consisted of 90% walking, it was still awesome. :'3

How bout you guys? How's All Hallow's Eve? ^w^