The sudden landing opened my eyes. I blinked for a few times, and had my vision clearer. I saw the usual room. The familiar surroundings. The closets, the beds, pieces of clothing scattered on the tables.
Though the few, last moments of slumber took place one minute ago, I seemed to immediately miss it. The weirdness of the dream was like no other. It was all so completely exciting and new, and I only get to feel it when I close my eyes and drift away from the boring world.
Hey, I guess I was kind of bored and there was this random impulse to type in some Alice-like crap to my first post, so yeah. But hey, seriously, the world indeed IS boring. Well, for ME, that is, and maybe not the whole world exactly. Maybe it's just the place I've lived in that is. And perhaps, I'm not the only one who feels like this.
And other than feeling bored, I've also been feeling what I truly hate feeling.
I apologize if this may sound a little bit cliche, but here goes.
I don't get to see people like me anywhere I look, everywhere I go. Nobody understands what deathrock or steampunk is, mostly everyone here doesn't know who the hell Peter Murphy is, or just how awesome Robert Smith is. Everyone here is tan, and brunette or dark-haired. Mostly everyone thinks ripped tights are such a sight. Among all the people I know, I guess my sister is the only person in my life who knows what a corset is, and that's because I showed her how it looks like.
But then again, MOSTLY everyone. Maybe some of the people reading this shares the same interests, and lives in the same city, and will be so kind enough to tell me that they do.
Although this feeling of isolation has been going on for three or so years, I have learned to happily cope with it. Although none of my close friends wear bat pendant necklaces, I've been doing fine so far. However, that feeling of longing and loneliness will never cease no matter how much I try to suppress them.
I LOVE MY COUNTRY SO MUCH, the people here are filled with humor and religiosity, but what bothers me is its geography. It's an archipelago, and the "nearest" goth club is one ship ride away. The people's superstitious and religious beliefs also get in the way at times. Some have concluded that I'm some kind of Satanist, and my mom even told me I need to get exorcised, which is just plainly crazy.
Oh well, things like these have been going on regularly, they've become pretty normal to me, and I guess I just have to live with it. What's important is that most of the people I come across with everyday have learned to accept the unique creature that I am, although they have not fully grasped nor truly understand what specie I belong to.
This blog will be about how things go on for the life of an isolated goth who's currently a college student, who shops by herself, celebrates Goth Day with only one person, goes through the same old heartbreaks that everyone goes through, and who tries to give the subculture a good name by showing everyone what she's made of.
But please, though I'm pretty good at ignoring the curious and annoying remarks of my countrymen, I still wanna know anyway.
Anyone else out there?